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Kissing frogs, living through it, and writing to tell about it.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

First Impressions

In the online dating world, most sites require users to create a profile in order to "sell" themselves to the sex they are trying to attract. As I've written before, one of the most important aspects of this profile is the headline, which is the introduction to who the person in the profile is looking for, and is usually the first thing potential matches see when they click on a profile. Most people write, "Looking For a Good Woman" (or, in my experience, "Looking For a Good Women :-/), "Looking for Friends", "Looking For My Soul Mate", etc. Since most searches limit each hit to the picture, headline, and a few words of the interest or "About Me" section, choosing the write headline to represent yourself is pretty important. So, when I just came across a profile headlined, "If you dress like a whore, DON'T MESSAGE ME!!!", I had to wonder how such an endearing and sweet man was on a dating site... Because all I get from that is, "I'm a Dick, I don't respect women, I don't have a filter, I say whatever I want, and you will not only like it, but you will respect me enough to date me". Out of curiosity, I read the profile. Now I get it.

"I'm told that I stay to myself a lot. I don't go out much because of my overnight work schedule. At least my weekends are always free, but I tend to stick to the same routine. I’m probably one of the quietest guys you'll ever meet. But, there are some things that make me tick. Basically, I never had a girlfriend and I rarely.....well.....never date (yes this profile is current in case you are wondering). So, when you see on my profile that my longest relationship was "under 1 year", don't pay attention to that because this sorry ass site required me to select an option. I've never dated because I don't trust women. Since this is the DC Metro Area, most of them are so stuck on themselves. It's seems like once I try to get to know them, all they want to talk about is their exes. If you're so into your ex, why don't you get back with him and save me the time and trouble. Oh, they say one thing and do something totally different. Those things and more I do not have time for AT ALL!!! Maybe it's just me. There's nothing wrong with watching out for one's self. Hey, if I'm lying, I'm dying. Guess what? I'M NOT DYING ANYTIME SOON!!!...

Sorry if this sounds negative. There have been messages I've received recently that made me respond the way that I have. So putting it out there would hopefully get rid of the BS I've been dealing with. A few messages from girls stating that I was too mean or that I didn't know what I was talking about. Well, I got three words, "GET OVER IT!!!" I'm not mean, only realistic. If you can't figure out the difference, then you need help!

Simply put, I'm here to meet new people, starting off as FRIENDS, and go from there. Of course, I want to be in a relationship, get married, MAYBE have kids, but I don't want to rush things. No I’m not afraid of commitment, so I don't know why all women think that!!! If you're looking for someone to impress "daddy", someone to use to get revenge on your ex, someone to pay your bills, someone to be your chauffeur, someone to be your therapist, it sure as hell won't be this guy. If you have baggage or just on here as a tease to show off your body and have no intent on meeting, don't even think about contacting me. That includes friends with benefits, too. If that's what you want, don't play with me, play with yourself, you freak.

As long as you is respectful, emotionally stable, has a sense of humor, DOES NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR EXES OR PAST RELATIONSHIPS, and doesn’t let anything or anyone get in your way, then I like to get touch with you. Looks can only get a woman so far with me. One who has a passion for helping other people and love going on spur of the moment trips are bonuses. I someday would like to show that special person the world. But, there's an old saying "money can't buy happiness". If any of these positive (depends on how you look at it) characteristics describe you, or if you have any questions you want to ask me, then go ahead and drop me a line or two. Maybe you're the one out there that can prove to me that all women are not the same. Hopefully there are some good people out there......but I doubt it.


NOTE: If I don't reply to your email, don't take it personally. You're just not good enough."

First Date?

"Open to anything, preferably a quiet, PUBLIC place (nothing too formal and not a movie theatre because I don't want you pick-pocketing me) to get to know the person better. No pressure, AS LONG SHE DOESN'T MENTION EXES OR PAST RELATIONSHIPS (again, never dated before and never been with a woman before)!!! That would just kill the whole mood.

PLUS, NO TOUCHING!!! I get snappy when people, especially women touch me. It only gets ugly from there if people make physical contact with me..

Oh, one more thing, if we do meet and I see you wearing a short skirt or a skimpy dress, I'm going to think that you're a slut. As a result, I'll just turn right around and go home. Can't stand attention whores. You've been warned!"

What a sweet, sweet man.

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