About Me

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Kissing frogs, living through it, and writing to tell about it.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

I Wish They Were All Like This

I received a "this person wants to meet you" e-mail for this profile today. I thought it was clever, well-written, and made me laugh. I wish they all did! Enjoy :)


"I thought this was a website about Sushi!

Sushi is good. Meeting new people is good. Meeting new people while eating Sushi is the best! I live in the Dupont Circle area of Washington DC, which is luckily full of delicious Japanese restaurants. Not a bad place for a first date, if you ask me.

If you are not an adventurous raw fish eater, this is probably a good time for you to move on to the next profile, if not, I have included some additional information about yours truly.

My dislikes include: People who wear sunglasses on the metro (transitions lenses are acceptable), pretentiousness, hardcore political party affiliation, and cantaloupe (or honeydew for that matter)

My likes include: Everything else (especially the act of using too many parenthesis in my profile)

Best attribute: Being tall. As I like to tell those who I rebound over in basketball, “you cannot teach height.”

Worst attribute: Being too tall and muscular to dance gracefully (I somehow just finagled being tall and muscular into my worst attribute)

Employment: Spending taxpayer’s money, the same thing everyone else does in DC.

What I am looking for in a woman: A doctorate from an Ivy League University (not counting Cornell), honorable mention or above in a Miss Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Competition or equivalent, a seven or eight figure salary (after taxes), the flexibility of a Cirque Du Soleil gymnast, a direct line to the president and the ability to fly.

What I will settle for: Someone who is nice (as opposed to naughty, although naughty works too) and fit.

Goals: To eat just enough delicious food to enjoy life, but not get fat (literally and metaphorically).

I hope you enjoyed my attempt at a profile and the blatant lack of proper sentence structure. Drop me a message if you are interested.

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